When I started this blog in December of 2016, it was both private and solely for Mason. A lot has happened since then. Obviously, it’s public now, and it’s about a hell of a lot more than just one boy. (Really, it’s about all of my boys.)
But first, as always, the beginning.
Back in December, I was still friends with someone I had known since I was thirteen, someone I loved dearly, and someone who I had always shared my words with. Four months later, we stopped speaking. Hurtful things were said, and I’m not going to go into it here, but I am bringing it up for a reason. My entire world tipped off its axis. I stopped querying for Mason. Every time I looked at it, it felt wrong. It was irrational, but I felt like everything I wrote was awful. I wanted to burn all of it. I never wanted to look at it again.
Deep breaths. This was not the end. And really, all it took was one beach trip, my anam cara, and I was writing again.
I’m still working on Mason. I’m not physically writing it, but he’s always there. For now, he’s on the back burner. I need to come to terms with his story. More accurately, I need to rewrite it. I need to get rid of the burnt pieces, and let him be born again. For now, though, I have five new boys that I’m over the moon about.
And so, finally, I am making this blog public. This is a space for me to talk about my writing, what I’m reading, even what I’m watching or listening to. This is a space for words, in whatever shape or form they take. Recently, I’ve been looking for other writer blogs to read. I only ever read Maggie Stiefvater’s, but I need more. Just like I follow 100+ yoga Instagrams, I need more writers in my life. And so, I’m taking the plunge. I’m letting the world into my very scary mind. Like I said in the very first post of this blog, this is a kind of stream of consciousness into a writer’s insane mind. Here’s hoping that this will help another writer say that, yes, finally, I’m ready.
Next up: Pen boys.