On Editing!

It’s been nearly a week since I finished editing the Pen boys, and since then, I’ve had a very relaxing handful of days.  I finished editing on Friday, and I spent most of the weekend with my parents.  I usually spend Saturdays with them, and this weekend was no exception, though my day was a little less than it usually is.  Instead of going into Salem, I parked myself on the couch beneath a blanket and Penelope, and finished rereading Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater.  On Sunday, I watched a little TV, and then went back over to see them so that my dad and I could DIY my new headlights.  I found a 9 minute tutorial on YouTube on how to change the entire thing, not just the bulb, and though peeling back a bit of my bumper was a little scary, we managed to successfully change out both of them.

Sadly, I’ve been pretty busy during the week, though.  I feel like I haven’t spent quality time with my cats in a few weeks, and they’ve definitely let me know that they’re upset about this.  After going to yoga on Monday, and then teaching on Tuesday for two hours, I was planning on going straight home on Wednesday, but had some last minute errands to run, and ended up home late again.  Thankfully, though, I have tomorrow off, and my plan is to spend the entire day with them.  And truthfully, I will actually spend it with them.  Whenever I’m home, they follow me around the house and sleep in whatever room I’m currently in.  The plan, then, is to either be in bed or on the couch, haha.  Season 4 of Peaky Blinders just came out, so I am binge watching the entire series all weekend.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading since Friday, too.  I just finished See You in the Cosmos by Jack Cheng, which I cannot wait to share my review for, and I’m about to embark on the last of the astronaut biographies that I have, as well as Shadows of the Dark Crystal finally.  I pretended, on Sunday, that I was going to start editing Alex the Destroyer, and that just didn’t happen.  I think I’ll probably start it next week, but I’ve really been enjoying this down time.

But, I’ve finally just kind of accepted this limbo that I’m in, and I’m enjoying the books I’m reading instead of ignoring them to write, so I thought now might be a fun time to talk about editing.  As a quick disclaimer, of course, my editing process is specific to me.  If your editing process looks different, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, it just means you’ve found the right way to do it for you.  I am hopeful that by detailing mine a little will help those who are unsure how to edit or where to begin.  And so, without further ado, here we go!

First, and most important, I’m going to reference a post I wrote last month about critique partners.  This, for me, has been the biggest part of my editing process.  Quite frankly, I think trying to edit your own novel without anyone else looking at it first is just not going to work well.  I love the Pen boys.  Like, an exorbitant amount.  I am so blind to its flaws, and I honestly think it’s just top freaking notch.  I know, in the rational side of my brain, that it does have flaws, and that it does need work, but when I thought about diving back into it by myself, I knew that it was never going to work.  Thus, after I finished writing it, I started looking for people to read it.  The story of how I met each of my critique partners and how we came to be partners for each other is in that post, so I won’t rehash it here, but they have been instrumental in the editing process for the Pen boys.

Now, when I finished writing, the first thing I did was immediately walk away from it.  This is a completely personal decision, and if you work better writing and then editing, go for it.  For me, though, I work better writing and then running away.  Which is not always conducive to a productive environment, but I’ve found that if I hurl a story out of my dreams, I need to take a hot second–translation: several months–to just be somewhere else.  Whether this means I’m reading a ton or writing a ton doesn’t matter as long as I’m not still looking at the story.

For many, many years, this was not the case.  I worked on nothing but Ronan for eleven years, focused all of my writing, reading, and editing attention on him, and was pretty firmly stuck for those eleven years.  Now, I’ve come to understand that the best way for me to work is to write a novel, and then write a different one instead of working on that one.  And it works!  After I wrote the Pen boys, I finished writing Alex, wrote Saints, and then finally looped back around to the Pen boys.  It’s only been four months since I finished writing it, so I think this isn’t too bad.

But, in those four months, I handed it off to Patrick and Chelsea, and told them to do their worst.  I wanted to know every single thought they had, good or bad.  I adore constructive criticism.  I’m going to repeat that phrase with emphasis–constructive criticism.  My first, and for a long time only, reader usually just gave me criticism.  He would cross out whole paragraphs with absolutely no reason behind, say he didn’t like things but didn’t say why, and just generally wasn’t very helpful when it came to editing.  Patrick and Chelsea are amazing, let me tell you.  Every single one of their comments is well thought out, and always explains why they’re feeling that way.  When one of them isn’t sure about a scene, they tell me why they’re unsure, or maybe how it could be fixed.  One of the big things I asked of them, too, was to point out things that could be axed entirely, that weren’t adding to the overall story.  The Pen boys was 188k when I gave it to them, and I wanted to get rid of at least 50k words to make it a more reasonable length.

So, they got to work.  They haven’t quite finished it yet, but when I finally surfaced from Saints, they were about halfway done, so I decided to dive in.  I had the novel printed–double sided, this thing is 600+ pages, it’s obnoxious–grabbed a pencil, a red pen, and a blue pen, and started editing.

First were my edits.  I edited five chapters at a time, working on removing extraneous words, sentences, whole scenes if it felt right, changing all confusing pronouns to names, fixing subplots, tightening up weak scenes, getting rid of unnecessary vagueness and just explaining things straight out, and generally crafting a new version of the story.

Second were Patrick and Chelsea’s edits.  And this is a thing that I believe should be true for every writer–your critique partner’s edits are not set in permanent ink.  Just because someone tells you to do something with a scene doesn’t mean you have to.  I mean, you probably should because there’s a reason they’re saying something, but I will admit that there were some, though not a lot, edits that I did not utilize in the second draft.  These were few and far between, and some were because of things that would either happen later in the story or in a sequel.  After I’d read and edited on my own, though, I went back to those five chapters to plug in Patrick and Chelsea’s edits.

Suffice to say, that first half of the novel is edited a lot more than the second half.  Most of the word cutting was done in the first half, and while I did change some things in the second half, I know that I’ll go back again after they’ve finished reading and editing.

But what, you might be asking, does this actually look like?

Some pages I have to rewrite in their entirety. Some chapters, I just write “no” or “bye” at the top. Sometimes, there are three different colored pens on one page. Sometimes, there are no edits. Sometimes, whole subplots change, and characters get a...

A freaking mess is what it looks like.

Not all of the pages look like that, but some key scenes do.  This page, in particular, was mostly rewritten.  Whatever isn’t squiggled out, I saved, though that wasn’t a lot with this scene.  Sometimes, I was just rewriting dialogue tags, but sometimes I was rewriting whole paragraphs.

Honestly, some pages just have pronoun changes on it.  Some pages are mostly intact but for a paragraph or two reworked.  Some pages, I had paragraphs circled and numbered to reorder when rewritten.  Some chapters, I just wrote “no” or “bye”–or, once, “oh sad but goodbye”–at the top, though that only happened six times in total.

Editing looks different on every page.  Sometimes, you’re just going to have to scrap something entirely and start over.  Sometimes, what you had in the first place is solid, and just needs a few tweaks.  Sometimes, it’s right down the middle, and you’re able to salvage some of it, but not all of it, and what is salvaged needs a little love, too.

I love editing.  It’s fun to deconstruct the novel, to break apart all the pieces and put the puzzle back together again.  It’s a bit of a headache sometimes, if I’m honest.  Some chapters were a total breeze.  One chapter, and I think it might be this one, took me hours to rewrite and rework.  But, in the end, I have a novel that makes more sense, has finely honed edges, and is actually a pretty good representation of my writing now.  Editing the Pen boys has also got me excited about the series again, and has me wanting to work on their first summer novella.  Not sure if that will actually happen, but it’s like I was reborn into the world and given fresh eyes.

And though this was what editing looked like for the Pen boys, it’s not what it will look like for Saints or for Alex.

Alex will be edited, in its entirety, by me before anyone else.  It’s probably the last of the stories I’ll hand to my critique partners to look at, and there’s a multitude of reasons for that that I’m not really ready to explain.  Alex is me, and I’m afraid to part with him.  We’ll leave it at that.  But for him, I already have it printed out–only 300+ double sided pages this time–I only have my pencil, and I’ve got my punk rock music.

For Saints–well, I’m not quite sure what that will look like.  In my eyes right now, Saints is in really good shape.  I know I said that I was blind to the Pen boys, and I was, but I could look at them and see that they needed work.  I’m sure Saints does, but when I look at it with my rational brain, it doesn’t look like a lot.  I didn’t get carried away with Saints like I did with the Pen boys, so we’ll see what happens with that.  Either way, it’s going to be different because Jen has it right now before anyone else, and I’ll likely edit it before Patrick and Chelsea get it.

Editing the Pen boys was an exhausting adventure, though.  I had fun, and a lot happened, but I think I did it too fast.  I gave myself a goal of three weeks to finish it, and ended up doing it in ten days.  I wish I’d gone slower, let myself take time to unravel things, and not done it in every possible waking hour.  At the end of it, I needed a break not because I’ve been go go go for so long this year, but because I burnt myself at both ends of the candle editing the Pen boys.

So, if you’re going to walk away from this with only once piece of advice, it’s this–go slow, and be different.


Deep Breaths in-between Novels

You know that feeling you get, when you’re nearing the end of reading a book, and you’re starting to think about what to read next, and you just–don’t know?  And then you finish the book, and it’s time to pick a new one to read, and it’s just so freaking hard?  Like, sometimes I put two or three books in my bag because who knows?  Who the hell knows what I actually want to read next?  When I pack for vacations, I always pack anywhere between 3-5 books, which is just absurd, okay, because no one actually reads when they’re on vacation, but I still do it.  Because I start thinking, well, I’ll probably want to read YA, but what kind of YA?  Maybe romance, but maybe also magic, so might as well pack both.  But I’m nearly always in the mood for an astronaut biography, and sometimes the mood just slams me in the face and won’t go away, so I’ll need one of those, and then probably an adult fiction novel just in case.  And it’s just like?  I’m going away for a week.  What the actual heck?  But I don’t know!

I just finished rereading Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater, and I kid you not, I pulled four books off my shelf to try to decide what to read next.  I’m in the middle of making my way through Oscar Wilde’s collected works, so I thought, heck, I’ll keep that out in case the mood strikes me.  Erin got me Dodie’s book, too, and I’m really interested to see what that is, so might as well hang out with that, too.  But I think I want to reread the entire Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy this year instead of just Shiver, so I took down Linger.  And the astronaut biography vibe is starting to circle back around, but not in a huge way, so I picked up See You in the Cosmos by Jack Cheng, too, which is a middle reader, and I’m only 50 pages into it, but let me tell you, it’s getting five freaking stars, my friend.  Hey, uh, you remember that Gilmore Girls episode where, wow, I’m actually Rory Gilmore, but with a little punk rock thrown in?

This is how I feel about my writing right now.

Like, that actual mess of stream of consciousness.  My brain is just a bunch of Hulk fists smashing together and the static noise on radios and that really annoying flickering bulb that you can’t fix.

I don’t want to be writing right now, but I want to be writing soon, and I’m in that limbo where I’m not sure what I want to be writing, you know?  Because I’d like to write the first of the Pen boys summer novellas, but I was also thinking about Andrew the vampire detective this morning, except I was talking about Shri the other day, and you know what, I have this secret bookstore romance idea that is haunting my dreams, but sometimes I also think about the Henry/Cole Saints at sea novel that I definitely can’t write until the second Saints book is done, and wow actually the second Saints novel kind of sounds like a good idea, too, AND OH LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT COMET NOVEL.


None of these are even Mason, and that’s the most frustrating part.

I don’t know what I want to write next, and I hate this limbo feeling.  I’m enjoying taking a break, and realistically, I do know what’s coming next.  My plan is to edit Alex the Destroyer next, and I’m sticking with that no matter what because I’ve been listening to his kind of music nonstop for the last couple weeks, and I keep thinking about him, so I want to finally wrap up his story and write those missing six chapters.  But that’s not going to take much longer than two weeks, so what’s next?  Right now, I’ve got plenty to distract myself with.  There are a ton of books still left on my 2017 TBR, and while I’ve finally accepted that I’m not going to read all of them before the end of the year, I still want to read all of them.  I’ve also been possibly bitten by the James Bond fanfiction writing bug, too, so if that turns into anything beyond rereading my old fic, that’ll keep me busy for threeish weeks, probably.  But I have less than zero idea what I want to write next.  I know that this blog is similar because I wrote something like this in-between the end of Alex and the beginning of Saints, when I was swimming around feeling unsettled, but it’s just so frustrating to be here again.  I have all these ideas, and none of them are jumping out at me.



Practice what you preach, am I right?  I always tell my students during yoga to let whatever happens happen.  One of these ideas will unravel eventually.

That’s all, folks.

In the last 10 days since I posted on here, I’ve edited the entirety of the Pen boys, and let me tell you, I’m freaking tired.  When I started out, the first draft of Pen boys–and I’m really talking the first draft; I kind of edited it along the way, but like, not really at all–was 65 chapters and 188k words.  Like.  Who do I think I am?  There was so much unnecessary nonsense in there.  So much pure fan service to myself.  It was also 640 pages double spaced when I printed it out, which is just obnoxious.

When I set out 10 days ago, I had three main goals in mind–cut words, fix pronouns, and what the hell with the plot.  The pronouns were easy.  Anytime I was even remotely unsure of who was talking, the pronoun got changed to a name.  And this really doesn’t sound like something that should be one of my goals, but wow, it was so bad.  I don’t know what happened to me in this novel, but I was a name-hater for some reason, and I just would not use my character’s names ever.  Patrick probably had some of my favorite comments regarding this matter–WHO ARE THE HES?????? all over the place.  It was something I made sure to pay attention to in Saints, and though it may still need some work, I’m confident that the second draft of Pen boys actually makes sense when you read it now.

The “what the hell with the plot” bit was kind of easy, too.  In the end, a lot of fixing the plot tied into cutting words, but my number one thing that I needed to fix was the villain, Quinn.  He starts out as basically Draco Malfoy, and then turns into a really bizarre version of Horace Slughorn, and then sporadically flip-flops between the two throughout about 80% of the novel until he just straight up Tom Riddle’s the shit out of everything at the end.  So, I knew that, first, I needed to stop making HP references in the novel, and second, I needed to figure out what the hell Quinn was up to.  I decided on one version of who I wanted him to be–turns out, he was none of the three–and really focused on making him make sense.  Seems like a simple task, I know, but no one, including myself, knew what Quinn was up to in the first draft.

There were other, smaller things that needed to be reworked, too, or just deleted altogether.  In the end, though, it was the cutting of words that turned out to be the most challenging.  I axed a ton, and it’s still probably not enough.  Pen boys started at 188k, and ten days later, I’ve cut 37k words, bringing me down to roughly 150k.  But 37,000 words!  That’s a lot!  It really is.  My biggest chapter, I honestly cut in half.  It went from 8k to 4k, I’m not kidding.  A lot of the overdone fluff between James and Oliver was taken out, the autumn equinox section was completely revamped, and, when I wrapped up, I’d gotten rid of six chapters in total.  But still, my goal was 50k, and I’m short that, so I’m hoping that as Patrick and Chelsea continue to edit, they’ll point out some more places that can be tightened up, and eventually, this book will become a reasonable length.

At some point, I would like to talk about the editing process and what it looks like, but I only finished editing yesterday, and I’m exhausted.  I haven’t been reading or watching my shows a lot, which usually gives me a lot of inspiration and get-up-and-go to write.  I did do a lot of yoga this week, but even still–phew.  I survived.  I honestly didn’t intend to edit the entire thing in ten days.  I gave myself a goal of three weeks, and then just got wrapped up in the magic.  But now that it’s done, I’m going to celebrate by reading a heck ton of books and catching up on all my shows.

Until next time!

Cliffhangers are my jam


IT’S DONE. 💀 #marywrites #saintsnovel

I can’t quite believe it.  I posted this picture last night, and that is actually the beginning of the very last chapter of Saints, which also happens to end in one of the worst cliffhangers I’ve ever seen.  I’ve been evil cackling since I thought of it.  I love it so much, and it’s pretty terrible.  If you’ve read Traitor to the Throne by Alwyn Hamilton, it’s a little like that, only worse.

What a whirlwind this has been.  Not only last night, either, but the whole thing!  I’m wrapping up the first draft at about 135k words in just under two months.  I first posted about Saints on 10/10, so I’m shy of that two month mark by about three days.  There are 38 chapters in total separated into three parts, and too many POVs to count.  Things got a little wild in the last part, and I threw in a brand new POV that we’ll be seeing more of in book two.  Because there will definitely be a book two.  Even if that ending hadn’t contained the worst cliffhanger ever, there would still be a book two.  Maybe a book three?  Who the heck knows.  I know maybe about 15% of what’s happening in book two, and I don’t plan on working on it anytime soon.  I tend to do this a lot, write a novel and then run away from it for a half year or longer, but this time, at least, I’m running toward something.  I’m going back to the Pen boys.  I’m going to spend the rest of this week quickly editing parts two and three of Saints, hand off both parts to Jen to read, and then realign my focus.  I miss my boys a lot, and I know part of that is because people are actively reading and commenting on it, but man.  The Saints are all so grown up and in control of their emotions and not very dramatic.  My Pen boys are just absurdly not in control of everything, and I want that chaos again.

But first, last night.  It was a lot of fun.  Originally, I had on Dua Lipa’s album because, for no discernible reason, she became the music to listen to while writing this novel.  However, Landon’s last chapter is pretty freaking intense, so I ended up listening to Brothers in Arms from the Mad Max: Fury Road soundtrack, and yup.  A+ music.  I just put it on repeat for an hour, and went to town on those last 2000 words.  And speaking of music, I thought it might be fun to finally share what I’ve been listening to while writing this:

Some of these make sense, I think.  Some of them are just strange.  But there are some songs for very specific things.  I listened to Berlin and Shortline by RY X during a lot of the soft scenes between Landon and Ezra.  Anything that was happening in the early morning or late at night, anything that was less words, more longing stares.  Havana by Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug is another song that I don’t understand how it got on here, but it just became Vivian’s theme song.  How Long by Charlie Puth is also a definite Miles song.  I listen to it whenever I’m cooking, and imagine him dancing around their little kitchen.  Landon usually requires a lot of creepy songs cos he’s a creepy little murderer, so I listened to If I Had a Heart by Fever Ray for him a lot.  The stripped version of You and I by PVRIS, An Unkindness of Ravens by Sanders Bohlke, and Silence by Marshmello featuring Khalid were all Henry/Cole songs.  I Know by Aly & AJ (holy crap, I’m excited they’re making music again) is a Madison/Riley song.  Brothers in Arms from the Mad Max: Fury Road soundtrack and Run Boy Run by Woodkid were used in all the fight scenes, as well as anything intense while they were running through the desert.  And finally, the theme song for the novel is No Running From Me by Toulouse.

I’m not a saint,
Nor am I one for smooth edges.

When I’m around,
Calamity comes out to play.

How did you hear the news
That I get to choose
How it plays out?
No matter how you scream and shout.

There ain’t no running from me.

I mean, come on.

I’m also rewarding myself for finishing the first draft of this novel by rewatching Mad Max: Fury Road cos wow, did not see that one coming.  It was probably the sneakiest of all the inspirations.  I posted early on about how this novel was a mix of Peaky Blinders meets Six of Crows meets The Thief Lord meets The Angelus Trilogy.  What I didn’t really think about was that very long bit in the middle where they’re running through the desert, and HA.  Yes.  I found myself just watching scenes at random from Mad Max, or listening to the soundtrack while writing, and it wasn’t until they were starting to leave the desert that I realized the whole entire aesthetic for Mad Max is basically Saints in a nutshell.  So, I’m watching that tomorrow because tonight I’m going to yoga.  I haven’t been to class in a while, and I blame that entirely on this novel because every night I wanted to go, I was writing a chapter instead.  But now it’s done, and I don’t have any money to reward myself with books, so instead I’m practicing yoga and watching a movie, haha.

There are some books that I really do want to buy right now, though, and I’m going to tell you what they are because I have a small feeling that I know what novel is coming after the second draft of Pen boys.  If I don’t end up writing Mason next, I think it will be Shri, the desert witch.  Linking  her Pinterest board there because I haven’t posted about her at all on this blog, but I’ve had a few dreams about her in the last few weeks, and I think it may be happening soon.  The books I want to buy are all about Arab culture because I really want to try to do this story right.  It takes place in a few Middle Eastern countries, but mostly Saudi Arabia and India.  Yes, there’s magic, and yes, Shri is actually a witch.  No, there will not be many boys in it, and no, there will not be romance, but it’s a wild, weird story that I can’t wait to dig into.  I need to do a lot of work on the plot, but the characters and most of the world is there, so I feel confident that it’s coming soon.  That could change with the wind, of course, so we’ll see if it actually happens.

For now, I’m really pleased with where Saints is.  It feels like a really solid first draft.  Now it’s time to make Pen boys into a solid second draft, and then, we’ll see what the horizon brings.

"Wilson you don't even know where your going!"  "Careful, Dev, you're starting to sound like you care!" Ali's laugh drifted up before James's chuckle, but it was still James's "she should hear how he talks on our runs, she'd be able to tease him for weeks," that made her smile grow into a grin.

Part 2 is done! & #nanowhy wrap-up

I realize it’s only been one day since my last post, and only two since my last time talking about Saints, but a lot happened today!

First: part two is done!  Two days ago, I hit a really incredible milestone of 100k words, and I was super stoked about it.  For some reason, reaching that number, for me, has become something of a goal, but also something that makes me feel like I actually have a novel written.  That being said, not all of mine have met that number.  The first draft of Mason didn’t, though I’m overly confident that the second one will.  I definitely think Mason should have been longer the first time around, so hopefully, next time will reach and surpass the 100k mark.  Alex is also not a 100k novel, but that’s because of his genre.  He’ll be a YA romance, or even just YA, and I’d really like to keep his book around 80-90k.  To be fair, the first draft of Alex is actually 99k.  I just checked, and realized it had nearly hit the 100k mark, haha.  And while it’s there right now, I’d like to cut it down and shorten some bits.  (She says, while having six chapters that need to be added.)

I thought now might be a fun time to talk about word counts a little, too.  I’ve talked a little about this before when I was explaining why quantity is sometimes as important as quality, but now I wanted to talk a little about word counts for first drafts.  For as long as I’ve been writing, I’ve always pursued a very specific word count.  For Ronan, I knew that high fantasy could probably hit 150k and be safe, probably even more.  Every draft I wrote was written in a way that waaaaay stretched events out, and that tried to pack as much (or sometimes as little) as possible in a single story.  With Mason, I had it in my head that I didn’t want to pass 100k because it was going to be YA urban fantasy, and I thought it was going to be my first novel published (ha!).  So, I really scaled back on things.  I didn’t spend as much time in the world as I should have, and I didn’t allow my readers to get to know my characters well enough.

When it came time to write Alex, I also had this word count brain on, as well.  It felt different because I actively knew Alex’s entire story.  Both Ronan and Mason are constantly evolving, and while the core reason for writing their stories remains the same, the general, and often times specific, details change a lot.  Alex’s story has remained mostly the same since the beginning.  There was actually this funny moment during this draft while I was writing, and I thought I was so clever with this scene.  It was going to hurt in an awful way, and it was going to really make my characters take a hard look at themselves.  I was doing that sort of evil cackle, tapping the fingers together in a spinning chair thing.  This was right around the time that I was also rereading the original draft (oi, it’s bad) to make sure I wasn’t missing any big details that I wanted to keep.  Well, lo and behold, twelve years is a long time, and I’d forgotten that I’d already written this exact scene for these exact purposes.  Thus, going in and saying I wanted to stay under 100k for Alex was easy because I kind of already knew the scope of his story.

This brings us to the Pen boys.  As I’ve said before, Mason was my first real attempt at a novel that wasn’t Ronan in twelve years.  After Mason kind of fell off my radar, I started working on Alex, but still, that was an old hat.  I wanted something new.  I wanted to challenge myself.  The Pen boys were born, and a funny thing happened.  When I sat down to write, it was with that mindset, that I should probably aim for about 100-120k, but not much higher than that.  Okay, I said, that’s fair.  That’s a YA urban fantasy.

Oh, what a fool I am.

The Pen boys was going to be 180k no matter what I did.  It was my first brand new idea.  I’d had Ronan and Alex both for twelve years, and Mason for almost a year.  Pen boys was birthed at the end of April, and I started writing four days later in May.  And it just–took off.  Like a literal jet plane.  I was blindsided by it.  Here were these five brand new souls that I couldn’t wait to play with.

Now, if you’re currently reading the first draft of Pen boys (hi Patrick and Chelsea!), I want to take this moment to apologize because good grief, that’s a–that’s something.  It’s, uh–I guess what you’d call it is what unleashing my imagination looks like.  All thoughts of how long the novel should be went out the window.  I just dove in headfirst and didn’t look back.  I couldn’t.  The words got away from me.  I wrote, and wrote, and wrote.  Many things don’t make sense.  Some subplots took wild turns or disappeared altogether.  The real plot took, like, 20 or something chapters to even briefly make an appearance  The Pen boys, in a way, is kind of like fanfiction.  Which makes no sense because it’s not based on anything, but I wrote it like I was writing fanfiction.  I couldn’t stop.  I just held on for dear life and let it all happen.

180k words later, I’m aware a lot of it needs to be cut and reshaped, and I’m very, very excited to dig into the edits I’ve been gifted and really make this story something beautiful.

But, for the first time, I stopped thinking about my word count and instead thought about just my words.  I didn’t worry if any of the scenes were unnecessary, or if I should maybe pare down on the existential crisis internal monologue, or if plots didn’t quite fit together yet.  I just wrote.  I upended my entire soul into that novel, and when I finally took a step back, it was the size of two.  Going into the second draft, I’ll put my word count hat on and try to make it into a 120k word novel at best.

With Saints, the same kind of thing is happening, but it feels so much more different.  I think I needed to write Pen boys first so I could just get twelve years of pent-up ideas out at breakneck speed, and after that was done, I could finally write the novel I was meant to.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my Pen boys with all my heart, and I’m absolutely going to finish writing their series.  But Saints–Saints is important.  Saints is one of those stories that I think people need to hear.  Beyond the LGBTQ+, POC, and disabled characters, beyond the stories of abuse and much needed feminism and the topic of religion, Saints covers a lot of important ground.  Yes, I’m tooting my own horn.  I’m not saying Saints will change the world or anything, but I am saying it’s a story that needs to be told, one that needs to be read.

And so, going into Saints, I’ve felt a lot more grounded.  I can very clearly see the path these characters are on.  Sure, sometimes they throw me for a loop, but not nearly as much as the Pen boys did.  Not only is this a story that needs to be read, I think it was a novel that I needed to write.  Their story has been waiting inside that crazy brain of mine for who knows how long, and it feels damn good to finally have it out and about.  And it’s almost done!

I finished part two today.  When I posted about 100k words, I knew I only had two chapters left to write of part two, but it felt kind of surreal wrapping up Landon’s last chapter of part two today.  Part three is going to be a breeze.  I do need to outline it again to account for some small changes, but the path is, again, very clear.  It’s probably going to be much shorter than the first two parts by about half the word count, so I’m looking at coming in around 150k at the end of this draft.  Which is funny, really, because I didn’t set myself a goal this time.  I didn’t say I had to reach a certain word count, or that I couldn’t go over one.  After the fiasco that is all 180k of the Pen boys, I realized something vital.

First drafts shouldn’t have word counts.  Second drafts, sure, but let that first draft do whatever the hell it wants.  Let it just run wild.  Your words deserve it.

As always, this got longer than planned.  No one’s surprised.  I really like where part two’s ended.  And just in case anyone reads this once I’m famous and traveling the world, don’t worry, Miles is okay.

On the topic of word counts, it’s the end of November!  As prefaced in my original nano why post, I did not participate in NaNoWriMo for the millionth year in a row.  I’m not sure I ever will participate in it, but I did keep track this year for those of you that might be curious.  Drumroll, please.  We have our final word count: 68k.  I intended to post the chart, but I don’t have it saved on my personal laptop, so I don’t have access to it right now, and I’m not interested in recreating it.  I started the month of November with 42,027 words exactly for Saints, and I’m wrapping up on the very last day with 110,693, which puts me at a very precise (and hilarious) 68,666.  Today’s word count was 7,226, which I’m rather proud of considering I was starting to lose steam probably around 5000, but I knew the shape of Landon’s chapter, and just wanted it done.

And now begins the journey of part three!  Our cast of characters has grown exponentially, and there’s going to be a heck ton of drama in part three followed by potentially one of the worst cliffhangers in history, and I can’t wait to start it.  I already know whose POV the first chapter will be in, and I’m very excited to begin.  For now, though, I’m going to put away the books I “accidentally” bought on Black Friday from B&N, take a shower, pamper myself with a face mask, and maybe even go to bed before 11PM.  What!

I hope Friday tomorrow finds you well and rested, and maybe full of words.

PSS (Post Script Spoilers): This week’s research has included this bone-chilling video of a hyena laughing (which was followed up by losing 40 minutes to watching The Lion Whisperer), looking at city gardens, thinking about Magnus Bane, checking out the catacombs of Paris, and staring at a jeep.  Also, desert vibes.  Do with this information what you will.  Hell, this makes Saints sound so much cooler than it probably is.  And here’s a picture of a skull not because I’m trying to be creepy, but because Landon is creepy as hell.

November Reads

Happy best month of the year!  I’m partial to November because it’s when Alex was born, and it’s the perfect temperature of cold (although this November has been particularly chilly), and it just feels like a really good month.  It’s post Halloween, but pre-Christmas, and everything is just twinkly lights and peppermint and scarves and wonder and joy.

This wrap-up for November books is coming at you a day early because I’m currently reading The Fireman by Joe Hill, and there is no universe where I successfully read over 500 pages by the end of tomorrow.  I’m happy to be finally reading it though since I started it in May, and then abandoned it for several months of YA novels.  So, without further ado, here is a very small list of books compared to last month.

The Scorpio Races

What: The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
When: 11/1-11/8
Rating: ★★★★★
Review: A few things, first.  This is a reread, and though I thought I’d read this more than once already, it appears the last time I read it was when it came out in 2012.  I’ll also be rereading another of Maggie’s books next month (Shiver), because tis the season.  And third, I actually recently saw Maggie at a signing in Wellesley on her All the Crooked Saints tour.  During her talk before the signing, she answered three questions–when she started writing the novel, why she wrote it, and what it was about.  It was this last question that interested me the most because, honestly, every time someone asks me what All the Crooked Saints is about, I give them a different answer.  She prefaced this question by saying that she understood how difficult it was to describe her books when put on the spot, and even when not.  She said that she knew that trying to describe one of her books accurately meant you were probably lying a little, and even if you got close to the truth, you just sounded like an insane person.  Up until The Scorpio Races, however, it had generally not been all that weird describing one of her books.  But alas, then it came to describing a book about horses that come out of the ocean, but really it’s not about that, it’s about the race that the citizens of Thisby ride these ocean horses in.  No, the horses don’t eat people, though they will kill you if you don’t handle them correctly.  But it’s also kind of about Puck and her island pony, and how she wants to prove a point that she’s as capable as any of the other male riders on the island.  So, really, it’s kind of about feminism.  But also family.  But also this really crazy myth where you have to spill blood on a rock because the island requires a sacrifice to survive?

Listen, just read it.  You won’t be disappointed.  The Scorpio Races is one of my favorite Maggie books.  Even though I knew, going in, that everything was going to end up okay, I still found myself holding my breath, crying like a loon, and gasping at all the appropriate parts.  I also found myself falling in love with Finn all over again.  He’s such a lovely side character.  Lovely is such a good word for this book.  It’s just lovely.  It’s full of magic and love and sacrifice and strength and Corr.  I never knew my favorite character in a book could be a horse, but here we are.


What: Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
When: 11/9-11/14
Rating: ★★★★★
Review: My review for the first book in the Monsters of Verity duology can be found here!  I actually purchased this book while I was only halfway through This Savage Song because I just had to know how it all ended up.  Our Dark Duet follows Kate Harker and August Flynn as they embark on this new, dangerous world they’re living in as a sinner and a monster.  We get to see a little more of Schwab’s fantastically dark world, and are introduced to a new monster.  There are even monster POVs in this one!  I honestly can’t remember if there were in the other one, but I don’t think so, and I really enjoyed seeing through Sloan’s eyes.  August just about broke my heart even more, which I didn’t think was possible, but here we are.  AND OH, THE ROMANCE.  I was not upset that there wasn’t romance in the first one, and I was doing just fine without it in this one, but then it came along and made me weep.  It was beautiful.

The only thing that bummed me out about this book was the lack of closure given to Kate’s friends.  I understand it would’ve been difficult to achieve that, but I felt really gypped out on their ending, and that was unfortunate.


What: Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor
When: 11/15-11/22
Rating: ★★★★★
Review: I realize that most of my reviews are five-star ones, but my dad has always said that I can’t be trusted to judge things appropriately.  This is probably true, but if any novel deserves five stars this month, it’s this one.  Let me tell you a story about my journey with this book.  I originally bought it in August during a book haul with Erin.  I’d been hearing some buzz about it, and kept seeing the title floating around.  Strange the Dreamer.  I mean, what a title.  Already, I wanted to read it, just for the title.  And then, when I picked it up in the bookstore, I was so dazzled by the cover that I read the summary without really reading it, and just bought it for the cover and title.  These things happen, okay, give me a break.  But then, fast forward through the next few months, and I kept going to pick it up, but the summary just wasn’t doing it for me.  Again, I wanted to read it because of the title, but the summary was so weak.  It just felt like a million things were happening, and there wasn’t a real focus, and I wasn’t hooked by it.  But, I bought or was gifted a number of books this year, and I wanted to finish them before year’s end, so I buckled down and finally read it.

Oh my god.  THIS BOOK.  I didn’t even realize I was as in love with it as I am until about page 80, when I was holding my breath and cheering Lazlo on, hoping and wishing and praying that he would be able to go to Weep.  I had just fallen down a Wonderland-sized hole of love for Lazlo and this beautiful world he was in love with.  And then, AND THEN, when they got to Weep, wowza.  I was already biased to love it because Lazlo had painted this beautiful, wonderful picture of it, but the real thing was just so much better than I could have possibly imagined.  The characters were so real and flawed and well-rounded, and it certainly didn’t hurt things that Lazlo was a book-lover.  Everything was so great about this book.  The plot, the characters, the setting, the writing, the romance, the mythology–all of it.  Every fantasy fan needs to read this.

I just realized I gave no indication what it was about, either, so that doesn’t help.  Strange the Dreamer is about Lazlo Strange, a dreamer set on one day finding the Unseen City of Weep, a place that has been long forgotten, but that he has studied for years and years.  When, suddenly, an ambassador from Weep shows up in Lazlo’s city, he does everything he can to return with them.  He manages it, too, and it’s here that we’re introduced to the reason why Weep has fallen away from the world.  There is a citadel hovering above the city, casting it in shadow, where four goddesses and one god, saved children from a massacre, are hiding.  Oh yeah.  It’s awesome.  Sadly, there is not a release date for the sequel yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar, I’m pre-ordering it as soon as there is.


What: The Girl at Midnight by Melissa Grey
When: 11/23-11/26
Rating: ★★★
Review: I want to like this book so bad, and truthfully, I do, but not enough.  I really, really enjoy the plot, the characters are very interesting, and the mythology is phenomenal.  So why only three stars?  Man, that writing.  It’s–not great.  It leaves a lot to be desired.  Much of the time, it’s just a chapter full of dialogue, which is fine, but I have no idea where these characters are, what they look like, how they’re reacting to things, and what might happen next via context clues.  There’s this other thing, too, that I know I do as a writer and I’ve seen in countless novels, and sometimes it’s unavoidable, but there would just be chapters and chapters of not a heck a lot of things happening, and then HI THE BATTLE IS HERE AND IT’S ONE CHAPTER LONG AND NOW WE’RE DONE.  Just like that.  Like, six full chapters at Jasper’s loft apartment, and then one for the final battle of the book.  This had so much potential!  I really think this book needed to be, like, 200 solid pages longer.  I’m still trying to decide if it’s worth it to read the sequel, but I’m leaning toward no.

This book, for those of you who are interested, is about the mythical firebird.  The firebird is said to be the end of wars.  Whichever side controls the firebird can use it to stop the war, in whatever manner they see fit.  The story follows Echo, a human, living among Avicen, who are like immortal humans but with feathers?, and Caius, a Drakharin, which are also like immortal humans but with dragon scales.  Badass, I know.  I’m definitely team Drakharin.  Both sides have been at war for centuries, though I’m not quite sure why, and while Caius, the Dragon Prince, wants to end the war with the firebird via peace, and most of the Avicen also want that, Caius’ twin sister, Tanith, wants blood and fire and doom, much like the general of the Avicen, Altair.  Of course, Echo and Caius end up on the same side, trying to find the firebird to unite their races, and while much of what happens with them is very predictable, I still loved it.  The side characters in this are excellent, and we’ve even got a little Magnus Bane of our own in Jasper (the blurb on the back of the book said catnip for Cassandra Clare fans, which just makes this book seem way cooler than it actually is).  All in all, it’s got great elements, but the writing has left me not wanting to read the next one.

And that’s November!  I told myself I was going to read the last 12 books of the ones I was either gifted or bought this year, but then I bought myself more books on Black Friday (listen, B&N was doing 20% off total orders, and I needed to Christmas shop, so I added some in for myself), so I’m doing my best.  Ha!  I’ve gotten a lot better at reading books instead of just putting them on my shelves, so 12 out of 62 feels pretty damn good.

Happy almost December!


I have so many other blogs that I want to write, but right now, I’M CELEBRATING!


Image result for excited gif

That is an accurate representation of me right now.  Well, this is more accurate to what happened last night:

Image result for excited gif

I’m all about the happy dances.

No, this does not mean I’ve finished writing Saints, it just means I’ve hit a pretty big milestone, and I’m extraordinarily happy about it.  This whole novel has felt kind of surreal.  It feels very much like a novel, but also not.  Pen boys is a complete mess plot-wise, and it needs so much work, and I’m not saying that Saints doesn’t, but it feels more solid than Pen boys.  It feels like Alex does.  Things make sense, and I can very clearly see the end of it, and it all just feels right.  Pen boys also felt right, but more in a yes this is definitely what I should be writing right now way while Saints feels like yes this is what I was meant to write.  It just feels good.  It feels honest.  It feels like all of the things I was trying to accomplish in Ronan and could never quite figure out.

But what does 100k mean in the grand scheme?  It means I am almost done.  I’m anticipating part three to be about 30-40k, maybe even 50k.  I only have two chapters left to write of part two, and then part three is a whirlwind of things happening and people getting shot, whoops.  There are a heck ton of loose ends right now, many of which I will not be tying up in a neat little bow at the end of the book.  The last scene is one hell of a cliffhanger, and I’ve got at least one, maybe two, more books in this series.  That’s not counting spin-offs, either, because I’ve already got at least one planned.  This world is big, and about to get a lot bigger, and I’m so happy.

100k means I’ve got a novel, a real, hefty thing that would hurt if I hit you with it, and that looks like something productive.  100k means I’m pretty damn close to the end.  100k means that I can do it.  And oh man, oh man, oh man, I can’t wait for you to see what’s hiding in these 100k words.

I’ve been staring at a blank document for over a week

Sometimes I blog because I’m not writing.  I know this seems like a far-fetched idea since I literally just posted about writing 40k in 17 days last week, but you wanna know what was also happening last week?  Not a whole lot of those words.  There’s this really great saying in yoga, that life is like a vinyasa.  It ebbs and flows.  There are ups and downs, and sometimes life is going to kick you in the ass.  Sometimes, life is going to be really awesome to you.

Sometimes, you’re going to write 40k in 17 days, and then, sometimes, you’re not going to write a single word for over a week.  After that post, I hit a kind of lull.  I knew what needed to come next, but there were a few small pieces missing.  The Saints are off on a job, and they’ve got to traverse this super dangerous landscape called the Dying Lands.  I know what’s going to happen in the Dying Lands to a certain degree, and I know what’s going to happen in part three in almost every single chapter.  What I didn’t know was what happens after they leave Obera, but before they get to the Dying Lands.  Filler, you might call it, and though it often sounds boring, it’s as often necessary.  I wrote this really interesting chapter in a priest’s POV about the history of the Saints, and used this perspective to see the Saints escaping Obera from a third party since I just couldn’t work out how to show it through one of theirs.  It was excellent, and I really enjoyed the chapter.  And then, I spent a week on Tumblr, I read Strange the Dreamer rather slowly, I reread some of my old fanfiction, and I just–didn’t do a whole lot?  I watched the entirety of Alias Grace (10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND) on Sunday.  I caught up on all my TV shows (and am now behind again, it’s a vicious cycle).  I was just kind of shuffling along.  I had legit no idea what I was supposed to write.

And then, probably about mid-week, I had a light bulb.  Ah ha!  My next chapter should be in Henry’s POV.  It’s been a while since we last saw him, and there’s going to be a crap ton that needs to happen with him.  Right.  Here we go.

Chapter 25

And yeah, that was about all I wrote for that chapter for two or three days.  At this point, I was really starting to get frustrated.  I kept scrolling through the Saints Pinterest board trying to get inspired.  I listened to songs that reminded me of Henry and Cole.  I kept the document open just in case.   I reread bits of Henry’s last chapter to try to get me in the headspace of where they were, and what they should be doing.  While driving, I would think of what the first line would be, scrap it within five minutes, and start over again.  When I’d get home, I would set up for success: pillows, tea, Henry music, Pinterest board open, annnnnnnnd nothing.  I’d end up on YouTube watching Buzzfeed or scrolling through Tumblr.

And wow, let me be the first person to tell you that this ^^^ is all hugely toxic to your writing.  If it’s not coming to you, or if the scene is not working, stop trying to make it work.  It’s the same thing in yoga.  If you can’t do a handstand, don’t beat yourself up and continue to try to do it.  Instead, use building blocks.  Do strengthening exercises to help your core and your shoulders get used to the idea of standing on your hands.  Work on poses that will open and release and give you more stability in the long run.  Work on the whole body instead of just one thing.

So, the weekend comes along, and I’m still fairly aggravated by my lack of writing.  I spent Saturday with my parents, and it’s finally not October, so decided to go into Salem.  I took Strange the Dreamer to Life Alive, got the Alchemist bowl, and had easily one of the best hours of my life.  I just love that cafe so much.  I need to move back to the North Shore just so I can be closer to it and spend all of my money there forever shhhh.  After Life Alive, my journey is pretty much the same every time.  Walk past Harrison’s and decide not to go in, promise the Tibetan shop that I’ll stop in on the way back and try not to buy anything (and fail), and make my second stop at Coven’s Cottage.  I’m linking both their website and their Facebook here because WOW.  Coven’s Cottage is my jam, and you can definitely see influences of it in Mason’s book.  I absolutely adore it in there, and I will spend no less than $50 every single time I go in.

It was closed.  I’m still so sad.  I should have looked it up beforehand just to be sure since this was the weekend before Thanksgiving, but they took the entire week off until Friday (today).  Don’t worry, I’m going back tomorrow.  Sad as I was, this left me stalling on Essex St in front of Village Silversmith, and I thought, well, I do need to do some Christmas shopping.  (Yes, I gift crystals for Christmas, shut up.)  Probably a half hour later, and I had a bag of new goodies (two for myself), and decided it was high time to make my way down to Jolie Tea.  Also linking their website and Facebook.

Now, anyone who’s known me for at least a year knows where this path leads.  Tea and words and magic, hm.  What might that look like?

FnJRa3PKQJqIdduItLKiwg.jpgHi yes, it looks like Mason.  Madhouse’s interior is inspired by both Life Alive and Jolie Tea.  Most of his story was developed in those two shops.  Coven’s Cottage makes appearances in the Hyacinth, and in Mason’s tea-brewing room.  Salem is ingrained deeply in his story.

Sadly, Jolie Tea was booked solid.  They do high tea on Saturdays, and all of their three tables were taken up, so I got my black lavender lemon tea to go, and good grief if that wasn’t one of the most delicious teas I’ve ever had in my life.  It was just so good.  At this point, I’m on my way back to the car, wondering where my meter might be, and I’m standing at the crosswalk, waiting for the signal to go, when my brain does a little twist and asks, “What if the story isn’t about all four elements being reborn?  What if the earth element has been a solid, living thing for many, many years?  It would make more sense, right, for at least one element to be steady, instead of all four changing?”

Oh, hell.

I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that I wasn’t writing Saints because my brain was in an entirely different world.  Which, weird, right, that I didn’t know?  Remember when I talked about the Sheldon Cooper Writer’s Block thing?  I didn’t even realize that I needed to work on Mason, but the words that I “needed” to write for Saints weren’t coming because that part of my brain had done a complete 180 and stuck itself on fixing The Mason Problem.  What is The Mason Problem?

It’s this thing where I really, really want to write Mason, but I don’t know what the plot of his novel is, so I can’t write it, obviously.  That’s Part A of the problem.  Part B is that the insecure part of me that still thinks I will never be able to write his novel properly is still at large.  I’m working on it every single day, and eventually, we’re going to come to terms with each other.  Coming back to the present, though, I spent the drive home drinking this amazing tea and kind of halfway thinking about Mason without any real commitment.  On Sunday, I watched Alias Grace, and then it was back to work for two days before a–drumroll, please–six day weekend.  Holla!  I’m on day three of six right now, and I’m so stoked.  I took the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off, and the Monday after because why not.  The other thing that happened beside Netflix and chill on Sunday was Worth It UK’s Afternoon Tea video.  Yo, linked it right there because they did the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party in England, and it was incredible.  I want to go so bad.  Sunday night, I picked out my outfit to see Maggie Stiefvater the following day, Jen tried straightening my hair to see if it was long enough yet (HOLY CRACKERS IT’S NOT), and went to bed still feeling a little frustrated with not being able to write.  And then, well.  I woke up to something crazy.

I went to work, drank my tea, took out my notebook, and scribbled out a quick page of plot notes for Mason.  No one warns you these things are going to happen, FYI.  No one tells you that you’re going to dream up an entire book in your sleep (looking at you, Saints).  No one tells you that one of your characters is going to inhabit your every waking moment (Alex, you little shit).  No one tells you that your brain is going to be completely taken over by the sudden urge to plot out an entire novel that you’ve been struggling with for almost a year.  What the hell, Mason, why.  Why now, felt like the more appropriate question.  I was in a groove.  I was writing Saints.  I was–wait, no I wasn’t.  I hadn’t written Saints, at this point, for over a week.  Okay, then.  So I snapped a picture of the outline, sent it to Patrick and Jen without any real explanation other than “so this just happened”, and went about my day.

That night (Monday), I went to see Maggie (more on this later), got home super late after some bleh Mexican, rushed around Tuesday doing last minute things for work, taught class, got home early since no one came to beginner’s, and promptly put myself in front of my laptop to write the words for Saints.  Fail.

Like, stop doing this, Mary.  Stop setting yourself up for failure.  If it’s not working, it’s not working, and leave it the hell alone.  Stop picking at the scab and sticking salt in the wound.  All of you.  Knock it off.  Leave your novel the hell alone if it doesn’t want to be written.  Like, jiminy cricket, go outside and howl at the goddamn moon if you have to, but stop trying to write.

No, I’m not writing Mason again.  It’s there.  The plot is starting to form, and I have some ideas that I think will really work to create what I couldn’t before.  It’s percolating, as they say.  To be fair, I’m also actively not writing it.  I was trying to decide which book to read next, and I really, really want to finally pick up Tithe by Holly Black, but like, faeries, guys.  There’s a lot of faeries in that.  Like, that’s the plot.  It’s faeries.  I can’t read it.  I’m going to write Mason if I read it, I promise you.  So, I picked up The Girl at Midnight instead because there’s a blurb on the back that says it’s catnip for Cassandra Clare fans (I swear, I’m going to reread The Mortal Instruments series next year before the new season of Shadowhunters comes out), and I figured something modern-set would help keep me in the Saints mind.  It’s working, but we’ll get to that.

No, I’m not writing Mason again, but I might be soon?  We’ll see.  Saints has probably 10-20k left of part two, and then part three is gonna be real quick.  I’m expecting to hit 150k for this book.  It’s at 90k AS OF TODAY, OH MY GOSH, I’M SO EXCITED.  But I can feel Mason stirring.  I know I say that a lot, that he’s right there, just waiting, but it’s the truth.  I think about him a lot.  I miss him a lot.  The other day, I finally told Patrick the whole dirty story of what happened between Jack and me, and how I felt about Mason after all of it.  Even months later, I’m still trying to convince myself that I can write a novel, and that, more importantly, I can write Mason’s.  Whenever I do eventually sit back down to write it, it’s going to be a lot of hard work to overcome that dark, brooding part of me that’s saying, in one of my best friend’s voices, that I’m a horrible writer and that this novel is the worst thing ever written.  It is going to be a hell of a time to get through it again, but I want to.  Doesn’t that say something beautiful about words, that they can be so powerful that even after something truly awful, they’re still right there growing?  Man, I just love words.

I’m trying to wrap this up, I promise.  Two nights ago, on Wednesday, instead of opening up chapter 25 in Henry’s POV to stare at angrily, instead of playing the same song over and over, instead of wandering around aimlessly through YouTube and Tumblr and Netflix, I just put on music that I wanted to listen to, put on the iTunes screensaver, and read the last 200 pages of Strange the Dreamer.  I went to bed content for the first time in over a week.  I ate more food than should be legal yesterday, and I successfully helped cook Thanksgiving for the first time.  We didn’t die, and it was delicious!  When I got home, I lit some candles, made some tea, picked out a new book to read, and started writing.  I can’t even tell you what the in between looked like, where I got my laptop and opened up Henry’s chapter, but suddenly, the words were just happening.  I’d finally, after several long days of frustration, stopped trying to write and instead just let Mason happen and Lazlo Strange happen and the world turn around me.  By the time Jen got home last night, I had written 4500 words, had the rest of part three worked out, and can now see the end in sight.

Today, I’ve only written a little over 3000 words, but this puts me just under 2000 words away from 50k for the month of November, which I plan to accomplish tonight, and this novel is starting to sprint toward its end.  I know the timeframe that I’m working with before part three, I know how part three unfolds, and I know what the last scene is (the last line, too, actually).  Does this mean I know what’s coming next?  Nah.  I do know that I’d like to work on the second draft for Pen boys, or that I’d like to write the second draft for Mason.  I know that I’d like to maybe even write something different altogether since I’ve been thinking about Shri a little, though that’s highly unlikely.  I imagine whatever comes next, it’ll be with one of these teams–Saints, the Pen boys, or Madhouse.  And you know what, I’m gonna try to be done stressing about what comes next, and just let it happen.  No more blank documents open while I do something unproductive.  If I’m not writing, and I have free time, I’m going to read.  I’ve got this.  And so do you.  So stop panicking about an empty chapter, and go do something else.

Saints word count update & a Jupiter-sized thank you to my critique partners

Wow, for the first time in a while, I actually waited more than two days to ramble about words here.  I’ve got two things that I want to talk about today–where I’m at with the Saints word count/nano why, and something that’s been on my mind lately.

I’ll get the quick bit out of the way and talk about Saints first.

Chapter Words before NaNoWriMo Total Words post NaNoWriMo Total
1 1,445 1,445 1,445 1,445
2 3,015 4,460 3,982 5,427
3 3,111 7,571 3,371 8,798
4 1,772 9,343 1,813 10,611
5 3,403 12,746 3,487 14,098
6 3,743 16,489 3,781 17,879
7 3,502 20,351 3,501 21,380
8 2,855 23,206 2,936 24,316
9 2,077 25,283 2,079 26,395
10 2,981 28,264 3,040 29,435
11 3,444 31,708 3,447 32,882
12 2,156 33,864 2,528 35,410
13 2,604 36,468 3,297 38,707
14 4,179 40,647 4,300 43,007
15 1,380 42,027 1,380 44,387
16 4,693 49,080
17 4,246 53,326
18 2,709 56,035
19 4,547 60,582
20 3,940 64,522
21 4,684 69,206
22 4,421 73,627
23 4,602 78,229
24 3,815 82,044

So, uh.  Hi.  I’ve written 40k this month.  Last time I posted, I had just finished edits for chapter 5 of part one.  Well, in the last nine days, I finished editing part one, adding a little over 2000 words to the first part, and then I wrote 37,657 words for part two.  I’M SORRY, OKAY.  I’m apologizing here because other writers tend to yell at me.  My CPs call me crazy.  A memory on my Facebook recently contained a theory from college that I was actually a vampire and wrote all night instead of sleeping.  I mean, kind of?

I’m going to let you in on the secret.  Not because I don’t want people to yell at me anymore for my word counts (go ahead, it’s fine, I know it’s ridiculous), but because the reality of why those word counts happen is something no one ever believes.  I’m not a vampire, sadly.  I also get around eight hours of sleep a night.  And I know that sounds frustrating because how did I still manage 40k words in seventeen days with those truths?  I’m really not trying to toot my own horn here because while I’m working on a new chapter, you’re probably getting drinks with a friend.  Or hanging out with your significant other.  Exploring the world.  Going to different countries, and living your life to the fullest.

I don’t go out very often.  Maybe once a month, I get lunch or dinner with my roommate.  I spend Saturdays at my parents’ house, and I teach yoga for two hours on Tuesdays.  But the rest of my free time?  It’s spent at my apartment, either in front of my laptop or a book.  Now, before you think that I’m living a sad existence, I promise you, I’m not.  I really, really enjoy my life.  I love spending time with my cats, words, and tea.  A Friday night spent catching up on my favorite TV shows is heaven.  My mom is always encouraging me to make new friends because most of mine live out-of-state, but I love the friends that I have.  I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  I hike (though this year was horrible), I practice yoga in a studio and in my dining room, I’ve been to four concerts in the last four months, I get Mexican and sushi with Jen, I go up north to Maine to spend a weekend with Erin at least twice a year, I spend full days in Salem, and I love my life.  But this is the difference.  Most people go out and have fun, and that’s amazing.  I applaud you.  I just don’t find enjoyment in that most times.

This is why, though, that I can write 40k in two weeks.  I also have a really amazing job that allows me some extra time after my work is done to write a bit here and there.  Every writer’s external life is different.  There have been a few people lately who express shock and awe at my posts about writing, or that say that they admire my commitment.  You know what I admire?  Those of you who have seen the world, that have gone to Greece and Iceland, who have found ways to live in your favorite cities in Maine, who are living like a nomad and just seeing everything.  I admire you.  I wish I had the means and the wanderlust to do what you do.  (Really, it’s the means, I’ve got plenty of wanderlust.)

So, yeah.  I wrote 40k in 17 days, and I had a blast doing it.  But that’s because my life is different.  My world is both smaller and larger.  Smaller because I don’t experience as much, larger because my soul is scattered across hundreds of stories.

That was longer than I meant it to be, which is always the case, really.  On a similar vein, kind of, Saints is going so well!  Edits for the first part were awesome, and I’m really pleased with how everything came out.  Part two is going really strong, and I’m about to enter a very exciting section.  I always feel like authors start the end of their story about 100 pages before the actual end, and it’s always been so frustrating to me, but it looks like I’m doing that now.  Frustrating because it’s usually 9PM, and I’ve started the 100-page ending on accident, and then I end up staying up until almost 11PM finishing the book.  I love those 100-page endings because it’s just chaos and excitement and AH EMOTIONS for a big chunk of the book, which is everything I love writing about.

Image result for evil queen laughing gifWith Saints, though, I’m seeing that that is definitely going to be the case.  They’re about to embark on a job of sorts that will take them out of the city, and when they get back, just all hell breaks loose.  It’s a wild freaking ride as soon as they get back to Obera, and it ends with a massive cliffhanger.

Yo, that is for real my most used gif, and has been used a lot while writing this novel.  Just evil cackling Mary all over the place.

I feel like this relates to inej, her conflicts w who she's become

And now onto my second thing!  I was going to keep rambling about Saints, but it would start to involve the thing that’s been on my mind lately, so here we are.

Firstly, a very warm and overwhelmingly grateful thank you to my critique partners–Erin, Patrick, Jen, and Chelsea.  You are the most amazing people in the world, and I don’t know what I would do without you.  You put up with the most obnoxious behavior from me, answer the most random questions that oftentimes don’t come with context, and are always there when I need help.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It’s been really enlightening taking on three new readers, and I’m finding that my writing is a lot stronger, and that I’m a lot more conscious as a writer because I know, now, that there are going to be at least one or two people at any given time reading something.

For years, Erin has been one of only two people reading my writing.  She’s read everything–fanfiction, poetry, and novels.  She’s sat through me pacing through her college dorm room, putting up sticky notes everywhere, and frequently flopping on the nearest surface in exasperation.  Sometimes, I send her texts that just say, “What’s a gross color to paint a house?” or “KISSING VIBES STOP ME” or “This is all your fault.”  I usually blame things on her.  She’s a bad influence in the best way.  Erin’s there when I need to figure out how soon is too soon for my kissing vibes to actually realize themselves.  She’s there when I just want to repeatedly sigh about boys and their stupidness.  She’s there for beginnings.

The most important thing about having critique partners is having a wide variety of them.  Not only do all of my partners read different types of books, they write different kinds.  They also all provide me with different kinds of critiques.  This blog is not for the purpose of telling you what kind of partners you should have, but just taking a look at the kinds that I have and why they’re helpful.

I met Erin in college.  Now, I don’t know this story firsthand, but apparently, I was writing Ronan, long-hand, during a photography (?) class.  Erin was sitting next to me, I believe, and I didn’t know her at the time, but she’s since told me that she was so damn curious because a) fire engine red hair and b) I was writing what looked like a novel.  It wasn’t until months later that my roommate introduced me to her, and just like that, we became sisters.  I’m talking we were in each other’s dorm rooms as often as possible, we talk every single day, we shared the deepest, darkest, and silliest parts of our lives with each other, and I very seriously call her my muse.  She is.  There’s no doubt in my brain that most, if not all, of my words are directly caused my her.  Some kind of cosmic magic happens when we’re together, and suddenly, I’m writing a new novel.

At the very beginning, when I’m just writing, writing, writing, Erin helps me keep on track.  Steers me away from diving into relationships too soon, reminds me that the dragon is green, damn it, and not blue, and is generally the first one that sees anything.  She encourages me to keep going, to explore more, to just write.  This partner is definitely someone I think everyone should have, someone that doesn’t look at your grammar or word choices, but instead says, “Write more.”  My favorite phrase of Erin’s is write me things.  Find yourself a critique partner that tells you to write, write, write, that tells you not to look back, not to edit the chapter right after you write it, but instead keep going, keep writing, finish the first draft and then go back.

Some months ago this year, I posted something about one of my novels.  Pen boys, maybe, or Alex?  I’m not sure which.  Patrick reached out to me about it, and I’m the worst so I honestly can’t remember what was said.  It made me smile, though, and I responded.  We used to write together waaaaay back in the day.  We met in middle school, and were great friends in high school.  Like I think most high school friendships do, once we went our separate ways in college, we just stopped talking.  Fast forward to this year, and I thought, wait.  Wait.  The universe is telling me something.

In March, I was viciously and unexpectedly cut out of a friend’s life.  Jack was the other of those only two that used to read everything I wrote.  I’ve spoken before about how I felt like I was floundering, like I didn’t know how to write anymore.

Enter Patrick.  Life took an unexpected turn, and the universe said, “Here you go.”  It honestly wasn’t that long after everything with Jack that I said to Patrick, “Hey, would you be interested in reading one of my novels?”  And just like that, I had a new old friend.  Now, I’m definitely not saying that I traded one for the other because wow, I am so better off now.  And not only did I find a new critique partner, I have a friend that I talk to every day, and an avid reader.

This is the other definite thing you need in a critique partner–a reader!  If you’re a writer, you definitely need to be a reader, but having a partner who also reads a lot is excellent.  Pat’s introduced me to so many incredible books in the last few months (thank you for VE Schwab, holy magic), and has, for the first time ever, flooded my Goodreads recommendations.  It’s been just an absolute dream come true.

What kind of critique do I get from Pat, you ask?  Everything.  Legit everything, it’s just out of this world.  His grammar edits are on point.  Things I hadn’t even realized I was doing.  Oh my gosh, the pronouns in Pen boys are an actual mess.  They’re all boys, but I just don’t like using their names that often, apparently.  It’s so confusing!  I didn’t even remember what a dangling modifier was before his edits?  There are comments on character development, hey look plot holes, sentence structure (including the one I always get: holy shit that was so long why), the I’m going to convince you to use fragmented sentences, aesthetic!  Oh, the aesthetic help is something I never thought I needed, but it’s been amazing.  Figuring out where/how to place paragraphs, where to break them, if and when I should utilize white space, maybe perhaps putting a POV at the top of the chapter, just all the things.

And, to top it all off, Patrick gets a lot of the same random texts that Erin does.  (I sent the KISSING VIBES STOP ME to both of them.)  Yesterday, I sent him a multiple choice question.  We argue about name choices, he keeps me honest from stealing bits of plot, and just all the things.  It’s amazing.

And then there’s Jen.  She calls herself my “basic reader”.  I met Jen at an 80s themed birthday party in our sophomore year of high school.  I’ve shared the picture from that night enough times on Facebook that I’m definitely not putting it here.  We used to pass notes in between classes.  When we went away to college, we didn’t talk a ton, but we met up almost every summer, kept in touch.  After college, when we were both in Massachusetts again, we started to really get back to each other.  She was there in the first week after I got Lily and Grace.  We nearly died seeing Panic! at the Disco together.  We used to drive all the way to Medford just to go to this amazing all you can eat buffet sushi place, and then we moved there.  Not kidding, we live within five minutes of the restaurant.  We’ve been living together since February, and I’m not lying when I say that at least once a week, I’ve come home and just yelled, “I NEED HELP.”  I used to do this to my roommate in college all the time, and good grief, it’s just such a relief to have someone that I can do this with again.

Jen has witnessed all sorts of book freak-outs.  She was there during the entirety of Pen boys, she knows exactly what I mean when I say I’m having Alex vibes, and she is currently the only person reading Saints.  Now, this is exciting for two reasons.  One, the last book that Jen read was the second version of Ronan.  RONAN.  THE SECOND VERSION.  That was in high school.  Oh goodness, it’s so bad.  This is 100% not Jen’s fault, either.  I’ve withheld so many novels from her because they’re “not ready”.  Well, guess what, Mary, neither is Saints, but whatever.  Patrick and Chelsea are both reading Pen boys right now while Erin’s helping me flail about every single book, so when I kept talking about Saints and Jen asked if she could read it, well.  How could I say no?  It’s closer to being ready than a lot of my first drafts are.  I’ve felt very aware and strong in my writing for this book.  I feel like I have a really good handle on these characters and their story.  I feel like the words I’m writing are the right ones, unlike with Pen boys where, even while writing, I knew I was going to have to cut a lot.  So, I said yes.  Have at it.

Last night, while we were doing our weekly old ladies sitting in bed reading together, I couldn’t concentrate at all on the book I was reading because she was laughing about Saints right next to me.  And it’s pretty cool.  Her assessment of herself as the “basic reader” is accurate, and it’s a really helpful perspective.  She points out things that my writer friends just gloss over and says, “Uh, what?”  She circles scenes, and says, “I want to understand this more.”  She gives me realistic reader reactions to romantic and action parts.  She doesn’t look at the grammar or the sentence structure or the the nitty gritties of the plot.  She looks at my characters and how they interact with each other.  She looks at the story as a whole and how it all ties together.

This is another kind of partner that I think is a good idea to have.  Just someone who will read your book and give you honest reactions to it.  There are plenty of partners out there who will help you with your grammar and ask you the important questions, but it’s going to help a lot to have someone reading your book who’s actually your target audience.  Sure, a lot of readers out there are also writers, or gobble up books like it’s going out of style, but a majority of them are going to be people who read a book or two a month, who get sucked into one series a year, who pick up a book and don’t want to know what the symbolism behind something is.  They just want to read a book.

A quick note here.  Not all of your critique partners have to be your best friend.  I know I’m kind of making it out to seem like your partners should be there for every single moment, and while it’s nice to have those, it’s also just a whole new level of wonderful to have someone who’s there specifically for the story, someone who isn’t mixed up in all the behind the scenes and is just focusing on the words and the characters and the novel itself.

My most recent critique partner, Chelsea, is an old friend from college.  We were in a lot of writing and English classes together, and for our freshman (?) year, she lived around the corner from me.  We’ve read various short stories and maybe even poems from each other, and I’ve been kind of stalkerishly following the progress of her new book on social media this year.  She posted recently about how she had just finished the first draft of her book, and a little light bulb went off in my head.  Patrick was in the middle of Pen boys, and Erin was helping me work out the second draft of Alex, and Saints wasn’t a thing yet.  I wanted another look at Pen boys, though, someone who could look at the characters and the plot specifically, and not all the other stuff.  I wanted someone who could tell me if it made sense.  With Pen boys, I’ve got massive blinders on.  I have no idea if it’s good or not.  I think it’s good, but I’m so wildly and uncontrollably in love with it that I was having a hard time figuring out what needed to stay and what needed to go.  So, I reached out.  I told her that I’d seen her post, and was wondering if she wanted to exchange novels.

Chelsea’s comments are a freaking godsend.  I’ve been trying to remember for this entire blog what those critique circles are called in college classes where everyone talks about your piece but you’re not allowed to respond, and I can’t for the life of me, but you know  how most everyone gives a long comment at the end?  Not verbally, but usually a few paragraphs written on the piece about the overall thoughts.  I miss those so much.  They were such a great way to look at someone’s reaction collectively, and a space to ask the questions that really changed the way you wrote something when you went back to work on it again.

Oh my gosh, Chelsea’s end comments.  Almost every single chapter, I’ve just felt a whole new understanding about the story of my Pen boys wash over me.  The questions she asks have opened up things that didn’t make sense before, and made me take a hard look at some of the scenes.  The actual story is going to be so much better the second time around, not just because of the reworked sentences and unnecessary words cut, but because I’ll have a better grasp on the characters, what and why they’re doing something, how they move as a unit and individually, and the story they need to tell.

I know everyone feels this way, but I have the best critique partners.  They all give me such varied edits in such different ways, and my novels are going to be beautiful because of each and every one of them.  They’ve each made me look at my novels in a different way, and as I’m embarking on Saints, I feel solid.  I’m ready.  I can do this because I have an incredible community of writers and readers backing me.

This is twofold.  One, holy magic, thank you.  Thank you to the moon and back.  Thank you more than all the stars.  Two, if you’re a writer, you need a reader.  You need multiple readers.  Find two to three critique partners, and write that damn novel.

nano why

Yes, that title does refer to NaNoWriMo.  No, I am not participating.  Kind of.  (Warning: this also somehow turned into a blog about anxiety.)

Last night was The Used!  It was as surreal as I thought it was going to be, and maybe even a little more.  It was very weird in a wonderful way.  They played a lot of old music, and while I was ready for that, as soon as All I’ve Got started playing, I felt like I was in a time machine.  Small, angry teenager Mary was losing her mind.  It was definitely bizarre to see Bert onstage, too, though not in the way I thought it would be.  I talked about, on Monday, how he’s kind of what Alex looks like in my head.  And while he is, and while I thought seeing him onstage was going to be like seeing Alex onstage, last night was more about Alex being right next to me in the crowd, also losing his mind.  He would have had so much fun last night.  Suffice to say, I had a heck of a lot of fun last night.  My neck and shoulders hurt today from headbanging and pretending I’m younger than I am, but it was well worth it.  They didn’t play my favorite song (Buried Myself Alive), but they did play Taste of Ink (there’s a small video up on my Instagram if you’re curious!), so that was pretty cool.

No one is surprised when I say that I was feeling major Alex vibes on the way home.  I fell asleep thinking of him, and drove to work this morning in his brain.  With that in mind, I started to think about NaNoWriMo this morning.  If you’re not savvy with that ridiculous acronym, it’s National Novel Writing Month.  I have never participated in NaNoWriMo, and I don’t intend to start now.  I respect everyone that wants to participate in it, so before you put on your defense gear and jump down my throat, let me explain.

<<< This is why NaNoWriMo sounds like a terrible idea for me, personally.  When I was just a wee thing, I was terrified of the world.  I couldn’t order my own food in restaurants.  I would not approach new people, and wouldn’t talk when new people were introduced to me.  In the third grade, it got so bad that I spent months sleeping on a cot in my parent’s bedroom.  I need the last thing I say to my family (and cats) is I love you just in case they die before I see them next.  To this day, I have such terrible memories associated with vomiting that if I start to feel nauseous, I actually start to panic.  Sometimes, it’s just little things.  Every Sunday, I hard boil eggs for the coming week for lunches.  Every Sunday, I look up the same recipe on AllRecipes, follow it to the letter with timers set on my phone, and then, on Monday, when I’m cracking the egg against the side of the table at work to peel it, it gets a little hard to breathe for a second while I stress over whether or not it’s going to actually be hard boiled inside, or maybe I screwed it all up, and I’m about to crack a regular egg and spill it everywhere.  Sometimes, it’s a lot bigger than that.  I’m going to meet Maggie Stiefvater in a couple weeks on her tour for All the Crooked Saints.  This will be my fourth time meeting her, but only the second time I will actually manage to say something to her.  The first two times, I stared at her in utter disbelief and then ran away.  I do this with most “celebrities”.  I’ve met Breathe Carolina three or four times, and barely managed to squeak out a hi before running for the hills the last time.  I felt like I was going to actually die when I met Will Francis.  Once, I turned around and walked in the other direction when I saw Pierre Bouvier coming toward me.  When I met Rachel Brathen a few years ago, I blacked out our entire conversation.  I remember walking up to her, and then walking away.  I have no recollection of the actual event.  My dad videotaped it, so I know what I said to her, but that’s the only evidence that it actually happened.  This isn’t just meeting famous people nerves, either.  It’s actual panic.  I can’t breathe.  My throat closes up.  My hands shake.  My heart is planning a grand escape.  Sometimes, I get a little dizzy.  It’s not fun.  And I get mad at myself every time because I have these amazing opportunities sometimes, and I can’t do it.  During The Academy Is…’s anniversary tour for Almost Here, we accidentally got let in with the VIPs even though we had normal tickets.  I was so confused why we were being let in early, and then I noticed that everyone was wearing wristbands and oh holy no way there was William Beckett.  I pleaded with one of the security guards until he let us go back outside into the line because I could not meet them.  It just wasn’t even a remote possibility.  However, someday I want to meet Brendon Urie and be a coherent human being, so I’m working on it.

Last year (was it last year?  two years ago?), I went to see Maggie on her tour for The Raven King, and I practiced what I was going to say to her the entire way up and while I was waiting in line.  I’ve been wearing the same mala beads on my left wrist for years, and I use these to count breaths during signing lines, when I’m getting blood drawn, while on the phone with customer service, anywhere that makes me anxious.  I counted them right up until I was standing in front of her, and I remembered everything.  That was the first time I ever successfully engaged with a “famous person” and survived.  I’ve already started rehearsing what I’m going to say to her in a few weeks, and I’m confident that it will turn out well.

Wow, I don’t know how this happened.  I did not intend to word vomit about my anxiety, but it relates to why I don’t do NaNoWriMo, so I guess it was inevitable.  Everyone who knows what this month is and knows that I’m a writer gives me a hard time for not participating in it.  Well, folks, this is why.  Imagine all of the above is an everyday thing, and then imagine trying to tell yourself you’re going to write 50k words in one month.  Yeah, no.  That’s a terrible idea.  If I did, I’d immediately start making up charts with how many words I had to write a day, staying up late just to achieve that word goal, panicking on days when I couldn’t manage it, abandoning even the mere idea of reading, feeling like an utter failure when the words I forced myself to write weren’t great, and then scrapping all of it at the end of the month if I even managed to make it throughout all of November with 50,000 words.  The funny part is, I can manage 50k words in a month no problem.  But tell me that I have to, and it’s never going to happen, and suddenly my favorite month of the year has turned into a war zone.

This is not to say that other writers shouldn’t participate in NaNoWriMo.  I actually think it’s a really neat idea.  It’s a fun sort of challenge to see what kind of quantity you can produce under pressure even if the quality isn’t top shelf.  And, hey!  You’ve got most of a novel, or half, by the end of the month, which is pretty stellar.

So, with all this said and done, no, I’m not participating in NaNoWriMo.  Kind of.  I’m not going to tell myself I have to write 50k words in one month, but if you’re curious about what my writing count looks like through the month, I am going to be posting an update with each blog.  Which means not only do you get a look inside how much I write in a week, but also a little more of my process.  How’s that, you ask?  Well, see above–I keep word count charts that I update at the end of every day if I’ve written that day.  For the month of November, my goal is to edit the first 15 chapters of Saints, possibly start part two, and also, maybe, probably, work on Alex the Destroyer.  (No one’s surprised, including me.)  I’m going to paste the charts below.  They’re broken up into Chapter/Words before NaNoWriMo/Total/Words post NaNoWriMo/Total.  For Saints, there’s already some stuff in the post section because I started edits a few days ago.  For Alex, there’s nothing, and there are also some chapters that are blank on the before side.  This is because I’m already on Alex’s second draft, and I know there are some chapters I need to add in, but I haven’t written them yet.

Chapter Words before NaNoWriMo Total Words post NaNoWriMo Total
1 1,445 1,445 1,445 1,445
2 3,015 4,460 3,982 5,427
3 3,111 7,571 3,371 8,798
4 1,772 9,343 1,813 10,611
5 3,403 12,746 3,487 14,098
6 3,743 16,489
7 3,502 20,351
8 2,855 23,206
9 2,077 25,283
10 2,981 28,264
11 3,444 31,708
12 2,156 33,864
13 2,604 36,468
14 4,179 40,647
15 1,380 42,027
Chapter Words before NaNoWriMo Total Words post NaNoWriMo Total
1 1,546 1,546
2 3,055 4,601
3 3,149 7,750
4 1,710 9,460
5 1,202 10,662
6 3,950 14,612
7 4,003 18,615
8 2,204 20,819
10 1,735 22,554
11 2,864 25,418
12 1,065 26,483
13 3,743 30,226
16 2,682 32,908
17 2,675 35,583
18 3,771 39,354
19 3,680 43,034
20 1,689 44,723
21 5,794 50,517
22 2,793 53,310
23 3,168 56,478
24 2,605 59,083
25 2,332 61,415
28 1,612 63,027
29 1,803 64,830
30 1,898 66,728
31 1,343 68,071
32 844 68,915
34 695 69,610
35 3,770 73,380
36 127 73,507
37 1,351 74,858
38 1,706 76,564
39 3,595 80,159
40 113 80,272
41 2,865 83,137
42 1,668 84,805
43 1,009 85,814
44 5,671 91,485
45 131 91,616
46 1,580 93,196
47 1,774 94,970
48 453 95,423
49 2,933 98,356
50 1,029 99,385

As you can see, I’ve only written about 1300 words in the last eight days, all edits for Saints.  With my regular charts, I also keep a running count of page per chapter and total pages.  I do this for every novel, too.  I’m not saying it’s something you definitely need to do, but great segue way here to something I totally did not plan on talking about.

I have had countless people tell me it’s about quality, not quantity when it comes to writing.  You’re right, but you’re also wrong.  Because yes, you’re never going to get published if you’ve got a poorly written book.  You’re also never going to get published if you hand a 300k word manuscript to a YA agent.  (Good lord, who even has time to write 300k words.)  Really, 200k is too much.  100k is pushing it, but you might get a read.  Think I’m just making these numbers up?  Writer’s Digest published this article in 2012, and if that’s too old for you to believe, here’s another one from 2015, another from 2016, and finally, one from June of this year.  The numbers are pretty much the same through the years with some small fluctuations here and there.  So yeah, quality matters.  But if you want to find an agent who will publish you, so does quantity.

I’m not saying make charts, and keep a running count of how many words each chapter is.  I am saying keep an eye on your overall word count.  I do individual chapters because I like my chapters to have an average length, so if I’m coming out at 2500-3000 words per chapter, I’m going to try to keep it that way throughout.  That’s not going to happen every time, obviously, but I enjoy reading novels with a familiar pace, so I try to write those, as well.  But make sure you know where you’re at.  Make sure you know where you should be in the end.  Right now, Pen boys is 180k words.  As an urban fantasy young adult novel, I’d like to get that down to at least 100k words.  I know cutting 80k sounds like a crap ton, and it is, but it’s totally doable while keeping most of the story intact and just getting rid of extraneous words (and a good chunk of that flailing in the beginning).  Alex came out at 99k words.  As a fiction young adult, I’m going to try to get that down to 80k or so.  Both of these novels were written freely, just me putting words on paper and seeing where the world took us, but as I sit down with a second and third draft, it’s about fine-tuning it, reshaping it into something I can believably see existing on shelves.

Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience. -Ralph Waldo EmersonSo, here’s to you, November.  I’m going to write when I can, read a lot, snuggle with my cats, meet Maggie and try to remember to tell her just how much her words mean to me, overeat on Thanksgiving, practice yoga, and hopefully come out with most of a novel on the other side.  I’m not going to stress out about writing 50k words in a month.  I am going to continue tracking how many words I write, and I’ll post updates occasionally to check on my progress, but it’s just going to be a chill month.

And for those of you participating in NaNoWriMo, my hat’s off to you!  Good luck, godspeed, and stay hydrated.  Hoard snacks, take breaks to go outside, and spend at least five minutes a day dancing.  You’ve got this.  Also: don’t forget to read.  And if you’re only going to read one book in the entire month, read The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater.  It takes place in November, and it’s about death-defying stunts, as well.